Kodoku
by Vayaete08
Summary: ...Lucciola wa boku no otomo-dachi..." What happens after Dio finds out about the events related to Lucciola during Ep. 23? (rated PG for slight hints of Shounen-ai)


Disclaimer: I do not own Last Exile or any of the characters in this fic… except maybe Lucciola =D

Warning:  This fic contains slight hints of shounen-ai, so if you don't like boyluvluv (I don't know why you would though) then it's best you skip this fic!

Also, **if you haven't seen past episode 23 "Castling Lucciola" and you don't want any spoilers, this isn't the fic for you.** I haven't seen PAST "Castling Lucciola," so I honestly admit that I have no idea what happens after that episode.  I'm afraid that if I watch anymore, I'll finish it before I want it to end!  So basically I wrote Kodoku without even knowing how Last Exile ends.  Please forgive me!  (The idea seemed fun at the time T-T)

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_Kodoku_ (English translation: _Loneliness_)

_What is loneliness?_

Loneliness is an emotion felt by someone who has nobody left to be with.  (Could possibly be one who has lived a solitary existence.)  It is characterized by aloneness.

_br_

_br_

_If you were alone in this world, would it be worse than death?_

_br_

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-Kodoku- 

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He placed his newly shined dagger beside him as he crouched underneath the dining room table.  Usually when he felt alone or depressed, this was his sanctuary.

But the feeling wasn't the same anymore… Things were… different. 

Lucciola wasn't there anymore to comfort him, and the thought of being alone once again made his heart cry out in pain.  He blamed himself even more than he blamed his older sister.  It was, as he concluded, his fault to begin with.  If he had never named Lucciola, never hugged him, never shared his food with him, never bonded with him, and more importantly, never called Lucciola his "otomo-dachi," maybe his death wouldn't have been so hard to deal with.  As a matter of fact, had he not gained Lucciola's loyalty, maybe he wouldn't have sacrificed himself for love in the first place.

Sacrifice… Was there no other way for Lucciola to prove his love?  Was this his only option?

His fingers tenderly traced the delicately engraved words underneath the elegant wood table. 

"Otomo-dachi…" he whispered, as he unsuccessfully tried to hold back tears.  They ran down continuously on his hot face.

He had dedicated those words to Lucciola so many years ago, but it felt like only yesterday.  Yes, it felt like many yesterdays ago when he had first shared dinner, or anything for that matter, with someone else.  It was too many yesterdays ago…  

He missed those days of his innocent youth, which were filled with happiness as soon as Lucciola came and entered his life.  Oh how he wished those days would return!  Even if it were just for a moment, to be able to be embraced in Lucciola's arms one last time would be more than enough for him to give up anything.

…anything…

Why did his life have to be so tragic?  Delphine- she was part of the blame for this too.  However, his sister and only relative, was ironically the one whom he was forced to kill.

He felt sick.  

His hands had been stained with so much blood.  The smell of fresh blood, left by his fellow comrades whom he so brutally killed, still lingered.  He could smell it even now, and it burned his insides, making him want to vomit.

No, he had to concentrate.  There were important decisions to be made.  Ones that not even the Guild Members had control of.  For every time he felt satisfied with himself, one of the Guild Members would tear him away form the life he learned to know and love.  

He looked around to make sure there were no guards around to stop him from his final decision.  

Not a single man in white was visible.  His eyes widened, and then suddenly, he tossed his head back and laughed.  That's right, there were no more Guild Members left.

He smiled as he reached for the dagger.

"_Otomo-dachi…_"

-Fin-

It's not a very good fanfic, I must admit.  Lol so many mistakes o-0" It's the first fanfic I ever finished writing. X3  

Make more Last Exile *coughLucciolaxDiocough* fanfics minna!  (Only a total of 8 on fanfiction.net T-T)

I promise I'll read them! ^-^


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